The 10 Percent Game Changer

Shanta Lee

Kevin slumps onto the couch after wrangling the kids into bed, and Julia’s scrolling through her phone. “Rough day?” she asks. Kevin sighs, “Just... long. And I just realized I bought those noise-canceling headphones online earlier.” Julia looks up, a little sheepish herself, “Okay... and I might have ordered that dress from the flash sale email.” And then they just look at each other, you know that look—half “we work hard, we deserve this,” half “oh, did we really need that?” It’s that classic cycle: justify, then guilt, then the old “are we depriving ourselves or just randomly splurging and feeling bad about it?”

Shanta Lee

Hello, and welcome to the Twogether Money Podcast, a place for high-income couples who wonder where it all went. My name is Shanta, and as a retired financial advisor with a counselling diploma, I'm here to help before it's too late.

Shanta Lee

If you’ve ever had that conversation—or, let’s be honest, that silent internal monologue—you’re not alone. Most couples, especially high earners, handle discretionary spending with this weird mix of secrecy, justification, and then, inevitably, guilt. And when ‘enjoyment’ is left out of the plan, what happens? Well, you get this pendulum swing between total deprivation and, like, “treat yo’ self” chaos.

Shanta Lee

Here’s the thing: this isn’t just about money. It’s about psychology. There’s a subconscious drive for reward that’s hardwired into us. You work hard, you handle stress, you hit those big goals—and deep down, your brain is screaming, “I deserve something nice!” It’s like, I don’t know, training a dog with treats or motivating a kid with gold stars. Positive reinforcement works, and your subconscious is no different.

Shanta Lee

The problem is, if you ignore that need for joy, your brain will find a way to get it—usually through impulse spending that derails your whole plan. Traditional budgets try to fight this with restriction and willpower, but honestly, that’s why they fail. The 70/30 strategy, which we’ve been building on in past episodes, takes a different approach. It channels that reward drive into a planned, guilt-free outlet. And that’s where the 10% Fun Fund comes in.

Shanta Lee

So, let’s talk about this 10% Fun allocation. I know, some of you are probably thinking, “Wait, a whole 10% just for fun? Isn’t that a little... much?” But trust me, this is the keystone that holds the whole 70/30 structure together. It’s not just nice—it’s necessary.

Shanta Lee

Here’s how it works: you take 10% of your average monthly net income and dedicate it entirely to fun and lifestyle enhancement. That’s right—this is for whatever brings you joy. Dining out, concerts, hobbies, spa days, that special bottle of wine, or even just a silly little treat that makes you smile. The golden rule? Spend it, guilt-free. And when it’s gone, it’s gone. No borrowing from other buckets, no putting fun on a credit card and promising to pay it back later. You wait until the next period when the Fun Fund is replenished.

Shanta Lee

Now, let’s talk couple rules, because this is where things can get spicy. First, the No Judgment Zone. Seriously, agree that there will be zero judgment about how each partner spends their fun money. If your partner wants to blow their share on a fancy golf club or a lipstick that makes them feel fabulous, that’s their business. This autonomy is key to preventing resentment.

Shanta Lee

And here’s a little story from my own client sessions: I used to watch couples come into money dates tense, bracing for a fight about spending. But once we introduced Fun Money, those sessions turned into something they actually looked forward to. Instead of scrutinizing each other’s purchases, they’d share the joy—“Look at this amazing deal I got!” or “This massage was the best thing I’ve done for myself all month.” It became a ritual, a celebration, not a battle.

Shanta Lee

And don’t forget, you can use your Fun Fund strategically, too. Save it up for a bigger treat, wait for a sale, or even celebrate your wins by jotting them down in your Evidence Journal. The point is, this is about planned, conscious enjoyment—not random, guilt-ridden splurges.

Shanta Lee

Okay, so how do you actually make this Fun Fund real and stress-free? The trick is to keep it tangible. Withdraw the cash, load it onto a prepaid debit card, or set up a dedicated Fun account and transfer your 10% automatically. That way, you can see it, track it, and—most importantly—stop spending when it’s gone.

Shanta Lee

And for couples, boundaries are everything. Establish that No Judgment Zone, and maybe even set up collaborative Fun goals. Like, you each get your own share, but you can also pool some of it for a joint experience—a weekend getaway, a fancy dinner, or tickets to a show you both want to see.

Shanta Lee

Remember Kevin and Julia? Once they started doing monthly “fun check-ins,” their money talks actually became something they looked forward to. Instead of tension, they’d share stories—Kevin about his new gadget, Julia about her massage. Sometimes they’d even save their combined Fun surplus for a couple of months to splurge on something special together. It wasn’t just about reducing conflict; it was about adding a new layer of joy and connection to their partnership.

Shanta Lee

And honestly, that’s the magic. When you make fun intentional and visible, it stops being a source of stress and starts being a source of connection.

Shanta Lee

Now, let’s talk about keeping the joy going—because, let’s be real, it’s easy to start strong and then let these habits fade. One of my favorite strategies is a monthly Fun Fund review session. Take a little time to reflect: What activities actually brought you joy? Which ones felt a little “meh”? Use this as a couple’s check-in to reinforce what’s working and tweak what isn’t.

Shanta Lee

Another idea: create a shared Fun Wishlist. Both of you jot down experiences or treats you want to enjoy in the future. It’s like a vision board for your joy, and it gives you something to look forward to together.

Shanta Lee

And don’t forget to celebrate milestones! Maybe you complete a quarter with consistent Fun Fund contributions—mark the occasion. Go out for a special dinner, or just acknowledge the progress. It’s about reinforcing the positive habit and keeping motivation high.

Shanta Lee

These little rituals—reviewing, wishing, celebrating—turn the Fun Fund from a one-off experiment into a sustainable, joyful part of your financial life.

Shanta Lee

Keep the conversation open about what feels fun and exciting as your interests evolve. Revisit your Fun Wishlist regularly, and don’t be afraid to adjust. The point is to keep it relevant and energizing, not just another box to check.

Shanta Lee

And here’s a tradition I love: surprise fun allocations. Every so often, let one partner plan an unexpected activity or treat with the Fun Fund. It adds a little spontaneity and keeps things fresh—plus, it’s a great way to strengthen the joy of shared financial planning.

Shanta Lee

So, as you integrate fun into your financial goals, remember: this isn’t about being reckless. It’s about honoring your need for joy, together, while still building the life you want. That’s the real wealth.

Shanta Lee

Alright, that’s it for today’s episode. Next time, we’ll tackle the big question that’s probably still lingering for some of you: what about existing consumer debt? How do you fit that into the 70/30 system? We’ll get into all of that soon. Until then, keep making space for joy—and remember, wealth is about more than just numbers. See you next week on Twogether Money.

Shanta Lee

If this resonates with you, and you'd like to learn more, visit my website at TwogetherMoney.com. That's T-W-O gether money, like the number 2. And here's a fun fact: it's the only place where you can purchase my books, so get those fingers moving and I'll see you over there!