What's Your Money Story

Shanta Lee

Priya’s waving a glossy brochure for a Costa Rican resort, eyes sparkling, ready to finally splurge on an anniversary trip. And James? He’s already got his phone out, checking their investment account, rattling off what-ifs about the market and client payments. Suddenly, what started as a dreamy vacation plan turns into a familiar standoff—her excitement clashing with his anxiety. And, honestly, neither of them really knows why it always goes this way. Sound familiar? Maybe not the Costa Rica part, but that feeling of running into the same old wall with your partner about money? Yeah, that’s not just about numbers. That’s your money story at work.

Shanta Lee

Hello, and welcome to the Twogether Money Podcast, a place for high-income couples who wonder where it all went. My name is Shanta, and as a retired financial advisor with a counselling diploma, I'm here to help before it's too late.

Shanta Lee

We all have this hidden “operating system”—a collection of beliefs, assumptions, and feelings about money that runs quietly in the background, shaping every decision we make. Most of us didn’t sit down and write this story on purpose. It’s more like a patchwork quilt, stitched together from childhood messages, family habits, early experiences, and, of course, all those cultural pressures. I mean, who hasn’t heard “money doesn’t grow on trees” or “rich people are greedy” at some point?

Shanta Lee

For me, the big lightbulb moment happened in a dusty Vancouver bookstore, wedged between psychology texts and a battered copy of Psycho-Cybernetics. I realized that mindset comes before math. Identity comes before action. All those years of spreadsheets and strategy, and I was missing the real currency: how we feel about the lives we’re building. That’s when I walked away from the formulas and started focusing on the stories underneath.

Shanta Lee

As Dr. Maltz wrote, our self-image—especially around money—is built from these old beliefs and experiences. We get “hypnotized” into thinking they’re just facts, when really, they’re just stories we’ve been telling ourselves for years. And until we see them, they keep running the show.

Shanta Lee

So, what are these stories? Even for high-income couples, they can create friction and keep you from actually enjoying your success. Let’s see if any of these sound familiar. First, there’s the Spender. Think Kevin and Julia—consultants who love the good life. Every bonus, every raise, it’s straight to lifestyle upgrades. Their identity is all about spending as a reward, but there’s this little undercurrent of anxiety about the future.

Shanta Lee

Then we’ve got the Worrier. That’s James and Priya from earlier. They’re excellent savers and diligent investors, but they agonize over every spending decision. Even with an impressive net worth, they can’t relax. Their story is rooted in scarcity and fear, even when there’s plenty.

Shanta Lee

Next up, the Avoider. Chris and Emily are a classic example—high earners, but neither wants to deal with the money. Bills get paid late, investments are random, and talking about finances feels like a chore. Their identity is all about avoidance, and it leads to financial drift, even with a great income.

Shanta Lee

And finally, the Status Seeker. Brian and Nicole live in the right neighborhood, drive the right cars, and send their kids to the right schools. However, much of their energy is spent projecting wealth rather than building it. Their identity is tied to external validation, and it’s exhausting.

Shanta Lee

So, which one—or maybe which blend—feels familiar to you? What messages about money did you pick up as a kid? And how does talking about money make you feel? Empowered? Anxious? Maybe a little bored or even conflicted? If your relationship with money had a personality, what would it be? A generous friend, a stern taskmaster, a flighty acquaintance, or maybe a worrying parent?

Shanta Lee

Here’s the good news: recognizing your money story isn’t about blame. It’s about awareness. It’s like finally turning on the lights in a room you’ve been stumbling through in the dark. And the most powerful thing I took from Psycho-Cybernetics is this: just as you were “hypnotized” into your old beliefs, you can de-hypnotize yourself and choose a new identity.

Shanta Lee

So, what if you decided to be a Wealth Creator? Not a Spender, not a Worrier, not an Avoider or a Status Seeker. A Wealth Creator sees money as a joyful tool, not a source of stress or a status symbol. They’re confident managing their finances—or hiring the right help. They make conscious decisions that line up with their values and long-term goals. They find security in their plan and their competence, not just the number in the account.

Shanta Lee

Here’s a little exercise: if your relationship with money were a person, who would it be? And who do you want it to be? Maybe right now it’s that stern taskmaster, but you’d rather it be a creative partner. That’s where the shift starts.

Shanta Lee

I know, it sounds a little mystical, but it’s actually super practical. You get to pick up the pen and start writing a new story—the story of you as a confident, capable Wealth Creator.

Shanta Lee

So, how do you actually start rewriting that story? First, get curious. Journal about your earliest memories of money. What did you see, hear, or feel? Were you excited, embarrassed, proud, or maybe a little scared? Those first impressions are powerful.

Shanta Lee

Next, try a little visualization. Imagine your financial future—what does it look like if you’re living as a Wealth Creator? How do you feel? What are you doing differently? Visualization isn’t just daydreaming; it’s a way to reinforce the new story you want to create.

Shanta Lee

And then, affirmations. I know, I know, it can feel cheesy, but trust me, it works. Try something like, “I am worthy of abundance,” or “I manage my wealth with confidence.” Say it out loud, write it down, stick it on your bathroom mirror. The more you repeat it, the more your subconscious starts to believe it.

Shanta Lee

Now, let’s bring it down to earth. It’s one thing to shift your mindset, but you’ve gotta back it up with action. Set clear financial goals that reflect your new identity—maybe it’s saving a certain percentage, or finally signing up for that financial education course you’ve been eyeing.

Shanta Lee

Build daily habits that reinforce your empowered money mindset. Perhaps you review your financial plan each morning, or you practice gratitude for your income, regardless of its amount.

Shanta Lee

And, this is key, regularly check in on your financial behaviors. Are they lining up with your new story? If not, adjust. No shame, no blame—just a gentle course correction.

Shanta Lee

If this resonates with you, and you'd like to learn more, visit my website at TwogetherMoney.com. That's T-W-O gether money, like the number 2. And here's a fun fact: it's the only place where you can purchase my books, so tap those fingers and I'll see you over there.

Shanta Lee

Alright, that’s a wrap for today. Remember, your money story isn’t set in stone. You can change it, together. Next time, we’ll dig into how to actually talk to your partner about money, without it turning into World War III. Until then, keep writing your new story. See you soon.